So the following were my thoughts in this order: "Well, where do the not so good things come from?" "We have always been taught God has a plan for everything and there is reason things happen." " What in the world?!?!, Why do crappy things happen and to good people?" I was pretty confused because we write the bad things that happen off as the old cliche' Everything happens for a reason/God will not give you more than you can handle. Yeah, ok. Do those every really make anyone feel better? There is a local story up here right now that is a big deal, two children lost their lives at 7 and 10 (I think) in a river accident. I cannot imagine, regardless if there was fault or not these parents can wrap their mind around Everything happens for a reason. I understand bad things happen to everyone at some point, well I know a few people that have not, but that is out of the norm. But then I remembered that somewhere in The Bible, my husband could tell me but I just know it is in there, that God knows everything before it happens. Strangely, I felt comforted and ok. My thoughts changed, it made sense. So some of the things that have happened were part of the plan and I am now able to see how they changed me as a person for the better. So, even though it does not seem like it at the time and felt like it could not get worse, it worked out to be ok and helped me grow. Maybe something happened to make me less selfish (Addison), or to let go of something that was not going anywhere, or to make me stronger and confident in my choices as a mother and person.
I went to App. State in Boone for a couple of years before I had Addison. I have some great stories, made great friends, and lived the co-ed life. But, I was insanely selfish and spoiled. I am a person and still have my moments but overall I like myself a lot better now. My best friend, Casey, was my roommate my freshman and sophomore year. Our friendship was and still is a "good and perfect" gift.
True Story: We went to high school together, were in the same AP class. She is gorgeous, so naturally I could not be friends with her. She was very quiet and reserved (at least at school) and #1 (as far as I am concerned) in our graduating class. I was outgoing and probably loud and probably snotty to her.Hey don't judge, I am nice now! So this is how we became roommates, (remember we did not really talk before this) me: "Hi, I got into ASU, didn't you?" Her: "yes" (I am sure she was thinking why do you want to know?) me: "Do you want to be roommates?" Her: "Sure" It was a said done deal. That was it, we never looked back. Who knows why it worked out the way it did, we are the best of friends now and when we get together really all we do is laugh, that is it. We can laugh til we cry most of the time and we know each other possibly better than our husbands know us, in different ways of course. She has sisters, 2 of them. I do not have any sisters but she was my perfect and good gift, and the closest thing I will know of a sister. We were pretty much inseparable for that year and a half, I would make her go to parties with me, she would make me go to class, I would make her go talk to a guy (or encourage someone to talk to her, that sounds bad but it is not meant that way), she would tell me to be nice to guys. It worked. It was a balance. She was the first person I called when I found out I was going to have Addison, she was the first person to feel him kick, she would sit with me in our room and help me think of baby names, she covered for me when someone would ask about me, and she was a crazy good "wing woman" I am pretty sure she could have kicked me a lot due to the things I would get into. She apologize to those guys for me and would look at me and say "did you seriously just say that to him and walk away?" or blew guys off for me when I would just ignore them for days, or weeks at a time. I will leave out the nitty gritty, after all there is a reason we will have to be best friends forever. She also told me when I met my husband that I was crazy if I did not marry him and said that I needed someone to calm my butt down and if he could do it then he deserved to be married to me.
So, I am not completely obsessed with her but she was the beginning of all the good and perfect gifts from above to me. There are very few things I hold close and treasure, besides the obvious (family, children, parents, faith) this is next.
I don't know why it happened, our friendship and the handful of major things in the few years after that but I do know she was one of the first people I turned to when I needed someone, and still is. I believe there are few things and times that are marked as a point where your life changes, children, spouses, major life events but I do believe even if it does not seem like it at the time, once you are past the storm/trial you can see clearly why things happened the way they did. It maybe years before you can really honestly reflect on it with out bias or 100% clarity but you will know something good came from it. If not in your life, it could have been a lesson or gift to someone else around you.
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