Update

Wow, it has been quite some time since I have blogged. I have written drafts and then opted out of posting.  Since I last posted A LOT has changed.

 My husband and I have been married 2 WHOLE years, now! Marriage is work and I am sure he would agree. But whoever once said, something along the lines-"As long as both people do not want to give up at the same time, it will work", was probably right. We are finding our way. I will always be honest, I do not sugarcoat relationships, life, children- anything really. I believe all of these things take major work.

You see, now we have (another) sweet little baby boy, Sawyer. And he is a very very good baby, I know EVERYONE says that about their kids and most of the time it is true. But, Sawyer is very even tempered, really doesn't cry and loves to laugh, talk and smile. So good that even my husband said to me the other day, "He makes me not want for us to have another baby because he is SO good. The next one is sure to be a terror." He is 6 months old now, has two teeth, is sitting up and trying to crawl. Make. it. stop.

Addison is an amazing big brother, I love seeing him in this role. He tells Sawyer all the things they are going to do when they get older. Recently, Addison explained the Elf on the Shelf., so sweet. Sawyer just looks up at him smiling and laughing, huge gummy grin. Addison made straight A's the first quarter of 3rd grade, if anyone doesn't know- 3rd grade is some pretty serious stuff. Steven and I are very proud of him, my heart is so full of pride and love for the young man he is becoming. He is just a very good person.

I really believe that time moves faster with two children, I count our blessings each day. It is easy to take these moments for granted. However, I have eliminated many negative situations/people I feel did not add anything to our lives, these decisions have not been easy, in fact, very difficult. When things in your life take away more than they add it is time to move on, but it is crazy how so many other positive things filled those "openings", opportunities presented themselves and brought a fresh perspective. There is no drama, no gossip, no draining conversations/obligations, life is simple. I have beautiful (inside and out) friends around me and treasure them all!

Photos by: Three Dandy Lions

Day 2: 30 Things my kid(s) should know about me!

Day 2: Describe 3 Legitimate Fears you have and explain how they became fears

1. I am terrified of anything happening to anyone I love. I think this fear grows with becoming a mother, getting married and growing up. I cannot say how it became a fear exactly other than the more you love people (or a person) the more you have these fears and anxieties.

2. I am afraid of scary movies, I do not watch them. Most of the things in the movies are not true and do  not happen but I still will not watch them, the fear is derived from things that could happen. You know because, the world is taken over by aliens so often!

3. I have a fear of being alone, I do not like it. I have given quite a bit of thought as to why I have this fear, I think I just enjoy being around people I love. I am not afraid of ending up alone, but just hanging out by myself, have no desire to do it, at all. I would rather walk around the mall by myself  than sit and hang out at home.

30 Things My Kid(s) Should know about me...

The goal of this is to post one time, each day, for 30 days. I found this idea on Pinterest, it was pinned from this blog. I hope I can stick thru this because I know it will be harder as our family expands!

Day 1: 20 Random Facts About Myself

1. I love on warm summer nights taking late (middle of) night drives with my husband, windows down just talking and listening to music. I imagine this will change quite a bit this summer, those hands down are some of my favorite times.

2. I love watching the Kardashians and most reality TV shows.

3.  Squash and Zucchini are my favorite vegetables, I cannot get enough!!!

4. When I was little we lived at the beach!

5. Though I do not do it as much as I used to, I love love love to run. I will be starting again after our sweet little boy is born! A couple of friends and I have our eyes set on a 1/2 marathon in 2014, a good realistic goal.

6. Since Addison was an infant/early toddler we have (almost) always read at least 3 books before bedtime. Since he is older now we read a couple chapters, right now we are reading Treasure Island and Tom Sawyer. So, this means, our son due 6/1/13, has been reading before bed since before he was born.

7. In high school, I played soccer (all 4 years) and ran cross country.

8. My favorite movie of all time is Elf, I can watch it over and over. Any. Time. Of. Year.

9. On that note, the first movie date with my husband, I suggested, Death Race.

10. My two cousins (by marriage) and I are expecting within two-ish months of one another, they are due within 1 week of each other! The next couple of years are going to be a hoot around the holidays and get together, I cannot wait!

11. My son, Addison, is really cool. I could go on and on with details about what an amazing and blessed child he is.. but the proof is in the pudding and he will show the world. As Steven, my husband says, "Sara, while other people have to talk about it, we will sit and watch."

12. One of my favorite restaurants is Old Ebbit Grill in Washington D.C.

13. I LOVE to laugh, I forgot how important it is to laugh. But, I am surrounded by people where we laugh every single day and my heart is so full of joy and happiness.

14. A good pedicure, manicure, and/or massage can take care of about anything.

15. Cheese pizza is my pizza of choice.

16.  I strive almost everyday to make my husband slightly crazy, I think it keeps things fun and him on his toes. Has worked so far!

17. I never stopped going to college when I found out I was having my son. I just went full time and worked part time, I went all year round until I graduated in December, 2008. When I graduated in the unofficial ceremony (December, 08), Addison (4 years old) walked with me to get my diploma. I choked back tears the entire time.

18. I have been spelunking (caving) in western NC.

19. I have also rock climbed.

20. I am 99.999% the beach can help fix about anything!!!

I will try to post tomorrow...

So many changes!

It has been entirely too long since I have updated my blog. September, to be exact. So, I will start from there...

Steven-Steven received a job offer in Charlotte working for Wells Fargo. It is a sweet gig that allows him to spend more time with the family and many other perks. He seems to be settling into "city-life" just fine. I know many may not think there is big difference between Charlotte and Raleigh, but there are some pretty big ones. Steven was pretty unsure about the move and how he would like being down here, I think he likes it. It is nice to be near family and see them a lot more than we used to, he also gets to enjoy poker nights and watching sports games with "the guys". So, for only officially being down here less than 4 months I think he is adjusting nicely.

Addison- Addison is adjusting pretty well, he misses his friends, quite a bit. He goes to a private school around our neighborhood. Many of these children, have attended school together since k-4, this was how he was with his friends in Raleigh. I would say this has been the biggest adjustment. I just remind him that, next year, he will not be the "new" kid anymore. In a nut shell, over the past 6 weeks or so he has attended many birthday parties and things like that so I have faith it will only go up from here.

Little baby Sawyer- I was 99.999% sure Sawyer was going to be a girl, this pregnancy was completely different than with Addison. His time in his comfy place is almost up, though! We have about 11 weeks to go, I think he is going to grace us with his appearance about a week early, we will see. Addison was 4 days late, I really think it is too hard to tell. We have a couple of showers coming up in the next 2 months, he is already so loved and so spoiled. His big brother cannot wait to see him and tell him stories, his dad cannot wait to have him hang out and watch ESPN and crazy zombie shows, and I will balance all of that nicely by making sure he is nicely dressed 24/7 and a sweet cuddly boy. Addison is the biggest love bug and I plan on making sure Sawyer maintains that standard. But, I am 100% sure that if his dad and brother have anything to do with it, he will spoil his mother like crazy. Addison and I read every night he is with me, we have since he was an infant, we are now already reading to Sawyer, he seems to like it, he gives Addison a kick every now and then.

Me: So, I fell into a pretty rockstar opportunity, it is insanely family friendly and far exceeded any opportunity that has come before me in the past year. They are super supportive of Mr. Sawyer and the fact my family is my priority. I oversee much of the NC Property Management for our company, I work closely with our broker in charge. Honestly, I do a ton and it covers so many different aspects that to even begin to go into detail would monopolize this post. I feel blessed beyond measure and I work hard.

Being home (home for me anyway) has been amazing, I love being back around "the city", seeing the airplanes lined up in the sky on my way home preparing for landing, the amazing parks and the shopping! Not that I get to buy everything I want but I just love seeing it all here and not having to just  look at it online. I also really enjoy being close to my family, I see my mom at least weekly, have made some new kick butt friends, gotten back in touch with old friends and strengthened the friendships in this area that I had.

Now that things are becoming a little more routine I plan on posting more often, I have some pretty great stories from the past few months that will certainly entertain!

Year One-Down!

Steven and I have been married a year. I know, it's crazy. Not just crazy because how fast it went by but also crazy because I have been married a year. I cannot even say it without getting a huge cheesy grin. I do not even like the commitment of cable and phone contracts, but I am happily committed to my husband. So, I think it is important to know and remember the things that have happened during our first year of marriage. It is important to know how far we have come but also more importantly how much fun we have together.

Our first disagreement, I am 95% sure it was while we were packing the morning after our wedding. Steven, is not a morning person, by any means. I am more excited to see the morning than I am receiving a diamond ring, well, maybe not, but it is close. I was really excited to go see Addison and spend the day shopping in Charleston, who can blame a girl?

My first long term roommate. Steven moved in with me and Addison. That was hard, I have never lived with anyone before, that was a challenge. I had a hard time adjusting to that and being really accountable to to someone else. Before, it was just me. I wanted to go walk around the mall, I did. If Addison and I wanted to go have lunch at Panera, we did. You can see how this was a pretty big change, I  had to make sure some football or basketball game was not on. If a game was on, I knew either, to leave the house or to make sure to go somewhere Steven would not want to go during that time. You can see the challenges I faced.

Steven, had to adjust to my bad habits. For example, I wash my hands and dry them off. In my house, a paper towels life does not end with simply being used to dry hands. I set the towel down at some various, yet handy, place do a few other things then I will come back and use the paper towel do wipe something up, or dry my hands again.There can be anywhere from 5-7 handy white balled up paper towels at any give time. They are always near when I need them and have never failed me. Paper towels get a very good life at our house. However, Steven will go through the kitchen or dining room and collect my little white balled up handy towels and THROW THEM AWAY!?!?! Why would anyone do that? Can you believe how I feel when I am cooking and then I just KNOW I have a paper towel lying around somewhere and then poof, it is gone. It makes me crazy, I feel sad, that paper towel could have gotten at least 4-6 more good uses before succumbing to the big white can. I am proud to say, we have reached an agreement. Steven puts them in a pile for me somewhere in the kitchen, I like to say he corals the little white balls to a manageable area, always to be found. I have also started to train Addison to reuse paper towels, the cycle continues folks.

We had our first real "family crisis" a few months after our wedding. Steven's dad was diagnosed with cancer. This was really hard for him, I was at work when he found out. I came home immediately. Steven is pretty close to Phil, so this was something that was hard to swallow. I just continued to reassure him I really believed it was all going to work out. I did not know but just felt being positive was easier than being negative about it and it sure was not going to hurt anything by being positive. Phil's cancer was pretty advanced and the odds were certainly not in his favor but prayer, good thoughts, faith, and support were really all I could do, do that is what I did. This was not an easy feat, there are many who do not understand positive thinking and always "prepare" for the worst. My philosophy is focus on the positive, prepare all you can for the worst case and then go back to being positive and move on. Happy to report: Phil is now cancer free.

We got our first dog, Wojo. Yes, it is for Wojohowski the coach and former player at Duke. This dog is crazy. Steven and I have never had a dog before and I am pretty sure it was training for a one day child. He was a cute 7 lbs when we brought him home, he currently weighs about 75 lbs. he runs around the house like a crazy person but he is also the funniest animal.He is 100% a part of our family now, we debated on keeping him for a while, well, I did, but the dog won.

First REAL experience with long term compromises, it is amazing the things that "do not bother you" until the other person makes a decision. That is frustrating, Steven never expreeses an opinon regarding decor to bedding etc. That is until I buy something. I do not ask him questions about wether Madden 2013 (or whatever) was really the best video game to buy. You know, I am a good woman. I do not ask questions, Madden you want? Sure, go ahead. Just do not ask me why we needed a new placemats. I will stay in my teritorry, you stay in yours. It works.

We learned how to talk! Not in the normal way, but in the "normal" way. Steven is very very loud, ugh! Even writing this makes my ears hurt. He has a twin brother and I dont know if just one or more boys together are loud, but they are both loud, at least to my standard. His normal tone is like my raised voice. When he gets excited or animated about something, up his voice goes. It can be a story he has waited to tell me since lunch that day or a story he heard on ESPN and as the story goes on the louder he gets. I always say, "Oh my gosh, please do not yell", he just laughs. He thinks I am too quiet. I am terrified that one day our children are going to be loud. I am afraid I am going to be in a house full of loud people. We are working on this.

I realize he is a guy, and I let him be a guy. I am pretty laid back in many ways but I think it is easy to do when you have someone you love and who loves you, unconditionally.
Our first year, the most important thing we learned was our marriage will be what we make it. If we make it an expenseive steak dinner, it will be. On the other hand it could be Hamburger helper. People would ask us "how is it being a newly wed?" Well, sir or madame, it is life. There are good days, there are bad days, but it is real. We take each day as it comes, we laugh, we simply treasure each moment. We make Addison and each other the focus of our life, we make it a point to have dinner together each night, the weekends are family time. I think if we can some how manage to try daily we will be okay. There will be highs and lows but I think if we can maintain a balance, we are good to go.  I have been treated like a princess in my family, I do not have any sisters and grew up with a bunch of guy cousins, he treats me like I am the princess, so it works.

Pinterest

I do not usually write about heavy topics and things, this is a place I view as fun and don't care. But, today I was looking through Pinterest, it is full of crafts, sayings, words of encouragement and ideas for the home and children.  I came across this "Every good and perfect gift comes from above"-James 1:17

So the following were my thoughts in this order:  "Well, where do the not so good things come from?"  "We have always been taught God has a plan for everything and there is reason things happen." " What in the world?!?!, Why do crappy things happen and to good people?" I was pretty confused because we write the bad things that happen off as the old cliche' Everything happens for a reason/God will not give you more than you can handle. Yeah, ok. Do those every really make anyone feel better? There is a local story up here right now that is a big deal, two children lost their lives at 7 and 10 (I think) in a river accident.  I cannot imagine, regardless if there was fault or not these parents can wrap their mind around Everything happens for a reason. I understand bad things happen to everyone at some point, well I know a few people that have not, but that is out of the norm. But then I remembered that somewhere in The Bible, my husband could tell me but I just know it is in there, that God knows everything before it happens. Strangely, I felt comforted and ok. My thoughts changed, it made sense. So some of the things that have happened were part of the plan and I am now able to see how they changed me as a person for the better. So, even though it does not seem like it at the time and felt like it could not get worse, it worked out to be ok and helped me grow. Maybe something happened to make me less selfish (Addison), or to let go of something that was not going anywhere, or to make me stronger and confident in my choices as a mother and person.

I went to App. State in Boone for a couple of years before I had Addison. I have some great stories, made great friends, and lived the co-ed life. But, I was insanely selfish and spoiled. I am a person and still have my moments but overall I like myself a lot better now. My best friend, Casey, was my roommate my freshman and sophomore year. Our friendship was and still is a "good and perfect" gift.

True Story: We went to high school together, were in the same AP class. She is gorgeous, so naturally I could not be friends with her. She was very quiet and reserved (at least at school) and #1 (as far as I am concerned) in our graduating class. I was outgoing and probably loud and probably snotty to her.Hey don't judge, I am nice now! So this is how we became roommates, (remember we did not really talk before this) me: "Hi, I got into ASU, didn't you?" Her: "yes" (I am sure she was thinking why do you want to know?) me: "Do you want to be roommates?" Her: "Sure" It was a said done deal. That was it, we never looked back. Who knows why it worked out the way it did, we are the best of friends now and when we get together really all we do is laugh, that is it. We can laugh til we cry most of the time and we know each other possibly better than our husbands know us, in different ways of course. She has sisters, 2 of them. I do not have any sisters but she was my perfect and good gift, and the closest thing I will know of a sister. We were pretty much inseparable for that year and a half, I would make her go to parties with me, she would make me go to class, I would make her go talk to a guy (or encourage someone to talk to her, that sounds bad but it is not meant that way), she would tell me to be nice to guys. It worked. It was a balance. She was the first person I called when I found out I was going to have Addison, she was the first person to feel him kick, she would sit with me in our room and help me think of baby names, she covered for me when someone would ask about me, and she was a crazy good "wing woman" I am pretty sure she could have kicked me a lot due to the things I would get into. She apologize to those guys for me and would look at me and say "did you seriously just say that to him and walk away?"  or  blew guys off for me when I would just ignore them for days, or weeks at a time. I will leave out the nitty gritty, after all there is a reason we will have to be best friends forever.  She also told me when I met my husband that I was crazy if I did not marry him and said that I needed someone to calm my butt down and if he could do it then he deserved to be married to me.

 So, I am not completely obsessed with her but she was the beginning of all the good and perfect gifts from above to me. There are very few things I hold close and treasure, besides the obvious (family, children, parents, faith) this is next.

I don't know why it happened, our friendship and the handful of major things in the few years after that but I do know she was one of the first people I turned to when I needed someone, and still is. I believe there are few things and times that are marked as a point where your life changes, children, spouses, major life events but I do believe even if it does not seem like it at the time, once you are past the storm/trial you can see clearly why things happened the way they did. It maybe years before you can really honestly reflect on it with out bias or 100% clarity but you will know something good came from it. If not in your life, it could have been a lesson or gift to someone else around you.

Case and point: Timing is Everything (now only to remember that)

Positive is a relative term. Compared to quite a few people in my life I am very positive but my mom is a very positive person so compared to her, I need to be more positive!

The thing I have found to be hardest about being positive is, you get your hopes up! I am like "yes, I am positive this is going to work out!", then it doesn't and my mom gives me the run down about God's rejection is God's protection. Ok, well I thought he wanted me to do this.

It is not always an easy thing to live but I know that everything happens in God's timing. Case and point: Steven and me!  I had Addison when I was 20, very young. I attended school the whole time I had him, to give you some perspective he was born 3 days after my last final in the Spring 04' semester. August 2005 Moved to Raleigh from Charlotte letting my parents know pretty much less than 7 days notice (not nice I know, I was seeking independence) enrolled in school, got a job and put Addison in care part time stayed home with him the other part. Side note: Addison was 15 months when I moved up here. Now being a parent and thinking about my little person, your 21 year old with your 15 month old grandchild moving 3 hours away. I would trail right behind him if he did that. Over time I have been able to ask my mom how in the world was she able to do that, she just says "you had to do it. You needed to do it on your own." Ahh insanity. In all seriousness, I grew up a lot in a short period, experienced a lot of disappointment, expectations were not met by people and there were a lot of tears and questions.

Fast forward just about a year, I decided to take a class at Peace College just a summer math class (I had been attending Wake Tech...kind of.....I stayed enrolled but did not go to class much, I stayed with Addison a lot.) I met a professor Ms. Peacock, (yes, real name) she was my trigonometry teacher, she would let me bring Addison to class if I needed. Hey don't judge other girls got to bring their dogs!!! He would sit there tiny in the huge chair next to me eating gold fish and running trucks over them to make crumbs (dirt). I made an A in the class and decided this is where I need to be, I applied to become a full time student and was accepted!!! Yaay! Go me! I went to school full time, worked 40 hours at the daycare Addison attended went home made him dinner and then did homework. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat!  There were sooo many days when I called my mom and said "hey look I saw a commercial I can do (enter whatever easy way out) in less than a year", she would always say: "Sara, you have come this far. You are almost done."

One of my classes (jogging, yes I am serious) we ran through a neighborhood the name escapes me right now every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I tried to stay focused on school it was soo soo hard but I did and for the most part I did well in school, I took Spanish I and II, twice for each class and took statistics twice. Both of those classes really made me want to quit on multiple occasions, my teachers held me to the same standards as my peers and a lot of my peers only had to worry about waking up to go to classes. That is not true for all of them but most. A lot of boring normal life things happen fast forward to Jan 2008, I am in my 2nd to last semester picking an internship and decide to take one with the Red Cross in their disaster services department. I worked, completed my internship and continued to be a mom.

STOP!

Here is where God's timing comes in, June 2008 I took some time off for personal reasons and returned to work in July. There was a girl, who worked with me and was a triplet. As I came in from my internship we are sitting playing with the infants she looks at me and says "Did you know Mackenzie's (my niece) dad is a twin?" Not giving it a second thought other than cool a twin because twins are not common, well not like they are now. Well Mackenzie's mom comes and picks her up and I was making small talk because it is weird not to when you have just spent the day with their kid, I say "That is cool, girl who shall remain nameless told me your husband is a twin!" She can correct me if I am wrong but I think she said "yea, are you single?" I was like "ummm, just got out of a relationship so not looking for anything serious but I am open to the possibility." Well, the other girl's jaw dropped because she was a triplet she wanted to marry a twin or something that is what she said. Like a dummy, I asked Ladonna, "what does he look like?" her response "like my husband"-they are identical twins if you have not seen them, they really look almost just alike ummm yea...this is where it gets funny so Steven and I talk on Myspace (yes, myspace) for a couple of weeks back and forth. Then he is going to come with his brother to pick up his niece, strange, I know. So anyway, we met in person and the next day had ice cream. Addison had just turned 4 and ran around the water fountain the whole time and didn't eat his ice cream. Steven tells me now that made him mad. I say it just gave him a glimpse into the life of a 4 year old. I don't know if he would say so but, when we talked ( I am pretty sure it was for a long time) it seriously felt like I had know this person forever. So we are dating and getting to know each other and this is where the timing is everything part: we find out there were so many opportunities that we could have run (almost literally) into each other and met but did not. The neighborhood I was running in, he was living there at the time. Ran by his house Monday, Wednesday and Friday! We worked at the same place (different locations) for a while I attended trainings at his location. We had so much growing to do between the times we could have met and actually did. I think about that first year of college, if we had met it would not have worked. He will agree, it never would have worked. We both had so much growing to do.  It is all pretty cool.

We are married now. I know for a fact God had it come together when it was right, not before and not a moment after. He honestly came in right when I needed someone most, the last few months of that year were really hard and he was there, many times I was like you can leave it is not going to be a fun or easy ride, he never went away. I mean really never went away.

I know that timing and having the faith in timing is everything. But, positively waiting on timing is hard! It is hard in all aspects, love, friendships, promotions, answers, you name it-we want it now. PLEASE. :-)